Dialectic Journals #3 & #4

Passages chosen:

"Classic single-parent-with-a-troubled-teen syndrome. Buy, buy, buy."

"She thought of how her mother had looked earlier- her hair was messed up and her sweater was only half buttoned; her eyes were all misty and soft, and she had seemed unable to stop smiling. Happy. Her mother looked happy. And Lina had taken that away from her, she'd taken it away from them all."

- From "Home Again" by Kristin Hannah

Response: The first passage shows that single parents must feel some sort of guilt for being the only provider for their child, and they may constantly feel like what they do isn't good enough. In this particular example, it was Lina's birthday, and Madeline felt pressured to buy as many presents as she could, to make up for the fact that she was Lina's only parent, and because Lina was constantly reminding her that she wasn't a good enough parent. In our society, some people use retail therapy to make themselves feel better, and retail therapy is linked to emotions such as depression, stress or guilt. The second passage I chose shows that children of single parents can feel guilty as well. Single parents seldom have time for themselves, and when they do, it is usually short-lived. When Madeline came home after a date with Lina's real father, she throws a temper tantrum thinking her mother is being selfish. However, I believe kids can also feel guilty for "ruining their parents' life", or being the only thing their parent worries about. One of my essential questions asks if being a single parent interferes with the ability to be a good parent. Does the fact that single parents can inflict guilt on their children make them bad parents? Personally, I wouldn't want to feel guilty all the time, but there are also other factors I have to consider before coming to a conclusion.